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Sunday, December 30, 2012

The Amazing Spider-Man - Review

The Amazing Spider-Man follows Peter Parker, a teenage outcast searching for the reason why his parents disappeared over a decade ago. After finding his father's old briefcase in his basement he is led to Dr. Curt Connors, his father's old business partner, who quickly reveals his dangerous alter-ego and sets Peter on his journey to self discovery after being bitten by a genetically altered spider.

I'm not a real big Spiderman buff, but I have been holding out on The Amazing Spider-Man since I learned it was being made. I felt like it was way too soon to reboot Spiderman and to put it in simple words, I was not happy one bit. Not to mention once I saw the Comic-Con snippets and the trailers I swore I wouldn't see it in theaters. After hearing and reading reviews when it was released this summer my criticism was justified because most people said it wasn't that good. That includes a lot of Spiderman fanatics. However, I wanted to give it a shot at some point so I could see for myself what it was all about and I must say... it was pretty terrible.
I put aside my irritation that it was rebooted to begin with the best I could, but if they were going to reboot it at least make it a good reboot. The entire movie was rushed, things that should have been explained weren't, things that didn't need as much focus were beat to death, the new Spiderman suit is stupid, Emma Stone was a terrible Gwen Stacy, and I honestly wasn't a fan of Andrew Garfield as Peter Parker. The only high part was Rhys Ifans as Dr. Connors but the awful CGI for The Lizard ruined that mighty quick. Well, that and the fact that they made Spiderman an asshole which Sam Raimi didn't do enough of with his trilogy.

As far as plot goes it is the same old thing regarding Spiderman. Uncle Ben gets killed and Peter is sent out on his quest for revenge and battling his ever longing lesson on responsibility. Martin Sheen was a decent Uncle Ben, I will admit, but the beginning of the movie was ridiculous. It starts with young Peter being left by his parents and suddenly he is a high school student with a skateboard who has a knack for getting in fights. Magically he finds his father's briefcase and that sets the truth into motion when Uncle Ben decides to tell Peter about Dr. Curt Connors, his father's old colleague. Then all of a sudden Peter is sneaking into Oscorp to meet with Connors who acts way too calm about Richard Parker's son tracking him down all of a sudden and giving him magical equations to fix his cross-species gene therapy project. It was just ridiculous.
Once Peter becomes Spiderman and Dr. Connors becomes The Lizard it just gets worse. The funniest part to me was not only the awful CGI, but the part when Peter saves the kid from the car. First of all, Peter took his mask off way too damn much. The key to Spiderman is secrecy. On top of that he is saving this child from a burning car and Peter magically doesn't get burned and even better, the kid walks away with no injuries despite sitting right in the flames. I mean, what the fuck? It was hilarious.

There are just so many bad things to say about The Amazing Spider-Man. I am glad I didn't see it in theaters and I am sorry that I wasted the 2 hours watching it at home. It's even more unfortunate that they are making a sequel. The best part of the whole movie was Stan Lee's cameo.

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