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Sunday, June 1, 2014

Maleficent - Review

In this revision of the classic tale where a young princess falls into an eternal sleep, a fairy named Maleficent explores the valley of revenge and evil after her wings are cut off.

Spoilers below, so beware if you even care. 

All I really have to say is this was a terrible movie. They ruined Disney's best villain and stomped on the remains. It was like they brainstormed ideas of how to destroy Maleficent and then took a giant CGI shit on it.
I'm not trashing Angelina Jolie's portrayal of the icon because she wasn't that bad. She looked the part and played it fairly well. However, I can't say the same for everything else. Elle Fanning was the biggest casting goof of the whole movie, making the king crazy was dumb, and making the fairies ridiculously stupid was even worse.

To spoil everything here, making Maleficent a hero was the dumbest fucking thing I have ever seen. She is the only Disney villain who was truly, deeply evil. In this one she was a good fairy who went bad because she got her heart broken. It's so lame I could spit.
Not to mention her changing her pet crow into whatever she wanted. As a result, SHE NEVER TURNED INTO A DRAGON. That is like, the most famous thing Maleficent is recognized for. Plus, Maleficent's kiss awakening Aurora instead of Philip's? Fuck that.

I just can't. If you are a fan of Maleficent at all or of the Sleeping Beauty tale, do not go see Maleficent. You will be just as mad as I am right now.


  1. Beautiful to look at, but I think that was about it. Good review.