Worst Films of 2014

It's that time again, boys and girls. I will start by admitting I didn't see as many movies this year as I usually do and not nearly as many as I would have liked to, but I did see enough to make a "best" and "worst" list. As always I will start with the worst. There are always people who disagree with me and think I'm nuts, but that is the fun of doing these lists. It's interesting to see how people justify thinking these movies were great.

Also note these are not in any particular order from best to worst or anything like that. If they are in any sort of order it's just in the order of when I watched them. I also will mention that some of these films were technically made in and/or received limited releases in 2013, but if they got a wide release in 2014 I'm counting them.


Maleficent

Despite beautiful cinematography and visual effects, Disney basically murdered the best classic villain they have. The origin did not work, there was a serious lack of dragons, and the story just didn't work. Sorry.

Transformers: Age of Extinction

Ugh, don't even get me started. Just another special effects poop from Michael Bay.

Transcendence

Lacking story, bad acting, plot holes, and an overall lack of reality. Sorry, Johnny Depp. You were kind of on my shit list this year.

Lucy

This movie wasn't horrible, but it moved way too fast and similar to Transcendence, it just had a lack of reality. It was very hard to believe this woman had all of these abilities in the short amount of time shown. I usually don't say this, but the movie needed to be longer by a good 30-45min.

If I Stay

Horrible. Just horrible. The concept is great and the book wasn't bad, but the acting slayed this one. I'm a fan of Chloe Moretz, but she is getting worse as she ages and it's not working for her. The lack of chemistry between her and her male counterpart was almost painful to watch and the charm it should have had was not there. Big disappointment.

Nymphomaniac: Volume 1

No comment. It was just horrible.

Nymphomaniac: Volume 2

Ditto.

The Quiet Ones

Lack of originality, predictable twist, and flat acting. Another one that could have been good but it just wasn't.

The Fault in Our Stars

I didn't quite understand why everyone loved this movie so much. Yes, it's a sympathetic tale of two young kids with cancer who fall in love, but that's really all it is. When it was over I didn't feel like my life had changed or that I had learned some major lesson. It was just sad and not really that impressive. I felt that Shailene Woodley was just doing what she does best and playing an angsty teenager. If she does manage to get an Oscar nod for this movie I will be in shock.

Neighbors

I did laugh but it tried way too hard to be funny. That and there was just a bit too much dick. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate penis but not at this level... and not when Seth Rogen is near the thought.

Oculus

It was a good premise, but it didn't really hold enough to be a full film. Karen Gillan is awesome but her character was a bit too crazy and it made you wonder how she didn't wind up in a mental ward long before her brother got out of one. It tried too hard to be creepy and to mindfuck you and that was its downfall.

The Purge: Anarchy

I don't know what I expected seeing that The Purge was a huge crock of shit, but Anarchy wasn't much better. It was an improvement and I did appreciate them actually showing the night but it still was just meh. Better than the first one but not something I would watch again.

I might still add to this list because I still have a couple movies I am trying to cram in before the year is up, so keep an eye out. Hope you enjoyed!

Maleficent - Review

In this revision of the classic tale where a young princess falls into an eternal sleep, a fairy named Maleficent explores the valley of revenge and evil after her wings are cut off.


Spoilers below, so beware if you even care. 



All I really have to say is this was a terrible movie. They ruined Disney's best villain and stomped on the remains. It was like they brainstormed ideas of how to destroy Maleficent and then took a giant CGI shit on it.
I'm not trashing Angelina Jolie's portrayal of the icon because she wasn't that bad. She looked the part and played it fairly well. However, I can't say the same for everything else. Elle Fanning was the biggest casting goof of the whole movie, making the king crazy was dumb, and making the fairies ridiculously stupid was even worse.

To spoil everything here, making Maleficent a hero was the dumbest fucking thing I have ever seen. She is the only Disney villain who was truly, deeply evil. In this one she was a good fairy who went bad because she got her heart broken. It's so lame I could spit.
Not to mention her changing her pet crow into whatever she wanted. As a result, SHE NEVER TURNED INTO A DRAGON. That is like, the most famous thing Maleficent is recognized for. Plus, Maleficent's kiss awakening Aurora instead of Philip's? Fuck that.

I just can't. If you are a fan of Maleficent at all or of the Sleeping Beauty tale, do not go see Maleficent. You will be just as mad as I am right now.

Looper - Review

Looper fast forwards us to the year 2074 where the mob uses time travel to transport people 30 years into the past where they are killed by specialized hit men called Loopers. A Looper named Joe gets more than he bargained for when his scheduled loop is the future version of himself.


I know I'm a little late to the party when it comes to Looper because I just now watched it, but I do have to say that I really enjoyed it. I thought the story was interesting and fresh and the acting was also really good. I also thought they did a pretty good job with making Joseph Gordon-Levitt look like a believable young Bruce Willis. It wasn't spot on, obviously, but it was pretty damn good.
I thought the writing was great and the dialogue was awesome. It was serious enough to keep you interested and curious, but there was also a decent mix of humor in there to keep you from getting too into it and feeling like your brain is turning into scrambled eggs.

I did like the idea of time travel being invented and then immediately outlawed. It's almost like there is a glimpse of hope that our future people would realize when too much power is too much. However, I was a little disappointed with how it wasn't really gone in depth. They didn't describe when it was invented or what exactly caused it to become illegal. A minor gripe but it is there.
I also was a bit confused with what exactly the drug was Joseph Gordon-Levitt (aka, Joe) was using. It was referred to as "dropping" but again, they never explained exactly what it was. Was it a form of cocaine or heroin or was it a brand new drug that was created between now and the year 2044?
One thing I did like is the fact that they didn't make the future too much of... the future. Like, there wasn't a lot of futuristic feeling in the sense of you felt like you were in an episode of The Jetsons, but at the same time it gives you enough to believe you are in the year 2044. There were hover bikes and futuristic cell phones and stuff.

I don't want to ruin anything even though I am pretty sure most people have seen Looper already, but I am going to stop before I get too into the movie. If I do this review will be super long and I don't want that. I will say I did like Looper. It was very well played out and I also will say Joseph Gordon-Levitt did a great job. I was also surprised with Emily Blunt.
I recommend it if you haven't seen it yet.