I started thinking about this Evil Dead remake bullshit and it got me thinking, who would I cast if I had the authority? Finding a new Ash is going to be a nightmare in reality and even in a dream it's rough. You can't replace Bruce Campbell but here goes...
Ash: I would go with someone a little lower on the Hollywood scale. Maybe not a total unknown but someone who isn't front page news 24/7. Maybe someone like Kyle Gallner, Aaron Johnson, Dave Franco, Darren Criss, or Jim Sturgess. Out of those I think Franco would be the best choice, as of right now. Ash is a badass but he is such a tender guy who means well.
Cheryl: Evan Rachel Wood, hands down. I would be real interested in what she could do with this one.
Linda: Jennifer Lawrence would be an interesting choice. So would Kristen Stewart, oddly enough. Main reason I mention Stewart... Linda gets her head chopped off, tee hee.
Scotty: Marshall Allman.
Shelly: Emily Browning, Scout Taylor-Compton, Emma Bell... Shelly is such a small character it doesn't even matter.
I would choose younger people because that's how the first one was. Remember how young Bruce Campbell was? I think it's better to have a younger cast too because it will better accommodate the no doubt ridiculous dialogue Diablo Cody will present.
Still not happy about it but if it's going to happen then at least have a decent cast... ffs.